Why Most “Fresh Starts” Don’t Last Without Deeper Work

Motivation is powerful — but it’s fragile.

At the beginning of the year, motivation is often fueled by hope and relief:
“This time will be different.”
“I’m ready now.”

But motivation alone doesn’t resolve the emotional patterns that quietly resurface once stress returns:

• old nervous-system responses

• emotional shutdown or overwhelm

• people-pleasing or over-functioning

• self-criticism that spikes under pressure

• anxiety that lives in the body, not just the mind

Without addressing what’s happening beneath the surface, even the best intentions get overridden by the same internal patterns — not because you’re weak or uncommitted, but because your system is doing what it learned to do to survive.

Real change requires capacity, not just desire.

How Therapy Intensives Create a Strong Emotional Foundation

A therapy intensive is different from weekly therapy in one important way: it creates space for depth and integration.

Instead of spreading insight out over months, intensives allow for focused, immersive work that supports:

• emotional regulation at the nervous-system level

• clarity about long-standing patterns

• meaningful processing rather than intellectual insight alone

• space to connect emotional healing with faith, values, and purpose

In an intensive, we slow things down enough for your system to actually receive what it needs — safety, attunement, and direction.

For many women, this concentrated work becomes the foundation that makes the rest of the year different. Decisions feel clearer. Boundaries feel steadier. Emotions feel less overwhelming. Faith feels less pressured and more embodied.

Instead of constantly “catching up,” you’re starting from a regulated, grounded place.

Who Benefits Most From Starting the Year With a Therapy Intensive

Therapy intensives are especially powerful for women who:

• are high-functioning on the outside but internally exhausted

• feel stuck despite years of personal growth or therapy

• want faith-integrated work without spiritual bypassing

• are ready for depth but don’t want to be overwhelmed by it

• value efficiency, intention, and meaningful transformation

I most often work with Christian women who are thoughtful, capable, and deeply reflective — women who don’t want to stay stuck in survival mode, but also don’t want healing to feel chaotic or destabilizing.

An intensive offers a contained, supportive way to do deep work while staying grounded, regulated, and supported.

Imagine Starting the Year With Clarity — Not Pressure

Instead of carrying the weight of “I need to fix everything,” imagine beginning the year with:

• a clearer understanding of yourself

• tools that actually work when stress hits

• emotional steadiness instead of constant self-monitoring

• a sense of alignment between your faith, nervous system, and daily life

That kind of foundation doesn’t come from pushing harder.
It comes from tending to what’s already there.

If you’ve been sensing that this is the year you want to do things differently — more intentionally, more deeply, and more sustainably — a therapy intensive may be the support you’ve been looking for.

Is a Therapy Intensive Worth It? A Smarter Way to Invest in Your Healing

If you’re a high-achieving woman, you’re likely very thoughtful about where you invest your time, energy, and money. You plan. You prepare. You weigh the return before committing.

And yet, when it comes to mental and emotional health, many capable women hesitate — not because healing isn’t important, but because they’re unsure whether therapy will truly make a difference this time.

You may have already tried weekly therapy. You may understand your patterns. You may even be deeply faith-oriented and self-aware — yet still feel stuck, exhausted, or internally unsettled.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is a therapy intensive really worth it?” you’re asking the right question. The answer depends on what kind of healing you’re looking for — and how much staying stuck is quietly costing you.

Why Mental Health Is a High-Impact Investment

Your emotional and nervous-system health affects every area of your life — whether you’re conscious of it or not.

When mental health is supported, women often experience:

• Clearer thinking and better decision-making

• Improved emotional regulation and stress tolerance

• Healthier relationships and communication

• More energy, better sleep, and less burnout

• Greater capacity to be present rather than constantly managing themselves

When it isn’t supported, even strong, faith-filled women can find themselves living in cycles of anxiety, shutdown, over-functioning, or quiet dissatisfaction — despite doing everything “right.”

This isn’t a failure of faith or effort.

It’s often a sign that deeper systems — the brain, body, emotions, and trauma responses — need attention, not just encouragement or mindset shifts.

Investing in mental health is not indulgent. It’s foundational.

The Hidden Cost of Staying Stuck

Unresolved emotional and trauma patterns don’t usually announce themselves loudly. More often, they show up quietly and persistently.

They may look like:

• Feeling functional but never fully at ease

• Carrying constant internal pressure or tension

• Repeating relationship dynamics you thought you’d outgrown

• Overthinking, emotional shutdown, or chronic fatigue

• Living with the sense that life should feel better than this

Most of these patterns developed for survival. They helped you cope, adapt, and succeed. There is nothing wrong with how you learned to manage.

But over time, survival strategies can become exhausting. They cost emotional bandwidth, clarity, and peace. They keep you working harder than necessary just to stay regulated.

Many high-achieving women delay deeper healing because they fear being overwhelmed by everything they might have to face. That fear is understandable — and it’s also where therapy intensives offer a smarter, more contained option.

Why Therapy Intensives Are Often Worth It

Therapy intensives are designed for people who want meaningful change without stretching the healing process over years.

Instead of fragmenting important work into short weekly sessions, intensives provide:

• Focused, uninterrupted therapeutic time

• Depth without constant emotional restarting

• Momentum that supports real integration

• A structured, supportive container that prevents overwhelm

Most of my intensive clients come to me after years of struggling and wanting more, while also knowing they cannot afford to be destabilized by the healing process itself.

What finally helps is addressing the whole picture — not just thought reframing, and not just spiritual platitudes alone.

True, lasting healing involves:

• The brain and nervous system

• Somatic and trauma-informed processing

• Emotional awareness and unmet needs

• Skill-building and practical tools

• Space for faith and meaning without bypassing pain

When these layers are addressed together, women often experience relief, clarity, and confidence — not because they pushed harder, but because they finally received the right kind of support.

Therapy Intensives in Pittsburgh & Pennsylvania

I provide therapy intensives for women in Pittsburgh, throughout Pennsylvania, and for those willing to travel to Pennsylvania for in-person care at my Carnegie office. Virtual services are also available.

Therapy intensives are especially well-suited for high-achieving women and busy moms who:

• Have tried therapy before but still feel stuck

• Want deep, focused work rather than surface-level coping

• Prefer a faith-informed, clinically grounded approach

• Are ready to invest intentionally in their healing and growth

A Smarter Way to Move Forward

What if you stopped managing symptoms in the same ways — and started addressing what’s underneath in a way that really moves you forward?

What if investing in yourself felt contained, intentional, and wise — rather than overwhelming?

Healing does not require you to fall apart.

It requires the right pace, the right structure, and the right support.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Explore Therapy Intensives

Schedule a Consultation

About the Author

Michelle Croyle, LPC is a licensed professional counselor with over 15 years of experience supporting women in trauma recovery and emotional healing. Based in the Pittsburgh area, Michelle offers therapy intensives in her Carnegie, Pennsylvania office and works with clients across Pennsylvania via telehealth and those willing to travel to Pennsylvania for focused care. She specializes in trauma-informed and EMDR-based therapy, integrating brain-based, somatic, emotional, and faith-informed approaches to help women experience regulation, clarity, and lasting change.

Releasing Old Patterns for 2026 with a Therapy Intensive

As the year winds down, many women have mixed feelings about the coming of a new year: It’s a brand new start. It’s one more year gone. It’s good. It’s disappointing. It’s a mix, and it’s hard.

You may be tired, worn out, and ready for something different, but maybe afraid to hope that things can change for the better, and you may notice that hope is a bit more optimistic than the familiar ache you notice enables you to feel. You notice the old patterns and the familiar ache that you hoped things would be better by now.

You’re ready for the anxiety loops to stop.
You’re ready for the emotional shutdown to lessen.
You’re ready to rest rather than keep up the exhausting pace of over-functioning.
And, you’re longing to have your insides match the exterior picture you try to put out into the world that depicts you as “fine.”

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing.

End-of-year reflection often brings clarity, but it can also bring frustration when insight alone hasn’t led to lasting change. However, may it be encouraging to hear that it’s not because you haven’t tried hard enough and not because you aren’t good enough. It’s because real healing usually requires more than insight—it requires space, support, and a deeper level of care, soul care.

Why the End of the Year Brings Old Patterns Into Focus

There’s something about this time of year that makes old emotional patterns feel louder.

Your routines shift.
Your schedule may slow—or abruptly stop.
And, your nervous system finally gets a chance to exhale.

Then, when that happens, what’s been held at bay often rises to the surface.

This is when unresolved stress, unprocessed experiences, and long-standing coping strategies become harder to ignore. You may notice yourself reacting more strongly, feeling more emotional, or questioning why certain struggles keep resurfacing no matter how much work you’ve done.

This isn’t regression—it’s information.

Your system may finally feel safe enough to signal that it’s ready for something deeper.

How Old Patterns Hold You Back from the Life You Want

Patterns don’t form because something is “wrong” with you. They form because at some point, they helped you survive.

Hyper-independence.
Emotional numbing.
Over-responsibility.
Conflict avoidance.
Constant busyness.

These strategies are intelligent responses to past experiences—but over time, they can quietly limit your emotional freedom, strain relationships, and leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and from God.

When old patterns stay in place, they can:

• Keep you stuck in cycles of anxiety or overwhelm

• Impact intimacy and communication in relationships

• Undermine confidence and self-trust

• Make rest feel unsafe or undeserved

Understanding this through a compassionate, nervous-system-informed lens is essential. Healing isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about allowing your system to release what it no longer needs.

Why a Therapy Intensive Helps You Break Old Patterns Faster

Traditional weekly therapy can be incredibly helpful—but for many high-functioning women, it can also feel slow, fragmented, or limited by time.

A therapy intensive offers something different.

Instead of spreading healing over months or years, intensives provide focused, immersive support that allows your nervous system to settle, engage, and process more fully.

In my intensive work, we create protected space to:

• Identify and gently unwind long-standing emotional patterns

• Process experiences that talk therapy alone hasn’t resolved

• Work with the body and nervous system—not just thoughts

• Integrate faith, meaning, and emotional healing in a grounded way

Many clients appreciate the ability of intensives to give them space to really go deep and access healing resolution rather than having to close up their deepest wounds after the 25 minutes that a traditional weekly therapy session can allow.

Therapy intensives allow for focused work because they provide sacred space to finally be able to slow down enough to do the kind of work you’ve known you’ve needed—but can’t easily access in the margins of everyday life.

This isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing what actually helps your system to shift.

Imagine Entering 2026 Without the Weight You’ve Been Carrying

What would it feel like to begin the new year feeling lighter—not because life is perfect, but because your inner world feels steadier?

More grounded.
More present.
More aligned with who God created you to be—without the constant strain of old patterns running the show.

A therapy intensive can be a powerful way to close one chapter and step into the next with intention, clarity, and support.

If something in you is stirring as you read this, I invite you to listen to that nudge.

Next Steps

If you’re wondering whether a therapy intensive might be a good fit for you, the first step is a consultation.

Together, we can explore what you’ve tried, what feels stuck, and whether an intensive approach could help you enter 2026 feeling more regulated, connected, and free.

About Michelle Croyle, LPC

Michelle Croyle, LPC is a licensed professional counselor with over 15 years of experience supporting women in trauma healing and emotional regulation. She is based in Carnegie, Pennsylvania, and specializes in trauma-informed therapy and EMDR intensives for high-functioning women who feel stuck despite having tried traditional approaches. Michelle integrates evidence-based therapies with a compassionate, faith-sensitive lens to help clients experience meaningful emotional shifts, nervous system regulation, and lasting change. Through Abundant Freedom Counseling, she offers in-person and virtual intensives designed to support deep healing in a focused, supportive environment.

Using a Therapy Intensive to Release Old Patterns Before 2026

(Faith-Based Trauma Therapy Intensive in Pennsylvania)

As the year comes to a close, many Christian women find themselves quietly reflecting—not just on goals or accomplishments, but on patterns they hoped would be different by now.

The anxiety that keeps returning.
The emotional shutdown in relationships.
The over-responsibility, people-pleasing, or constant striving to “be okay.”

Often, this reflection is accompanied by prayer, Scripture, and sincere effort—yet the same internal cycles remain.

If that’s been your experience, I want you to hear this clearly: this is not a spiritual failure.

Sometimes the most faithful step forward is recognizing that healing requires more than willpower or insight—it requires safe, structured support that allows the body, mind, and spirit to heal together.

Why the End of the Year Brings Old Patterns Into Focus

There’s something sacred about this time of year.

As routines slow and distractions lessen, our nervous systems finally have space to surface what’s been held underneath. This is often when old emotional patterns become more noticeable—not because they’re getting worse, but because we’re finally still enough to hear them.

For many Christian women, this season brings:

• Increased emotional sensitivity

• Fatigue that prayer alone hasn’t resolved

• A sense of conviction mixed with confusion

• A longing for freedom that feels deeper than behavior change

From a trauma-informed and faith-aware perspective, this makes sense. God designed our bodies to signal when something needs care. Awareness is not weakness—it’s often an invitation.

How Old Patterns Can Keep You Stuck (Even When You Love God)

Many patterns that feel frustrating today were once protective.

Staying busy to avoid pain.
Shutting down emotions to stay strong.
Over-functioning to keep the peace.
Spiritualizing pain instead of processing it.

These are survival strategies, not character flaws.

Over time, however, they can quietly impact:

• Emotional intimacy in marriage and relationships

• Your ability to rest and receive

• Confidence in discerning God’s voice

• A felt sense of peace, safety, and joy

Scripture reminds us that renewal happens through transformation—not pressure. Healing often involves tending to the places where pain was stored, not just correcting thoughts or behavior.

Why a Faith-Based Therapy Intensive Helps Patterns Release More Deeply

Traditional weekly therapy is helpful—but for many high-functioning women, it can feel slow or fragmented, especially when trauma or long-standing patterns are involved.

A therapy intensive offers something different.

In a therapy intensive at Abundant Freedom Counseling in Carnegie, we create intentional space—free from daily demands—where your nervous system can finally settle enough to heal.

Faith-based therapy intensives allow us to:

• Address emotional patterns stored in the body, not just the mind

• Integrate Christian faith without bypassing pain

• Use evidence-based trauma therapies such as EMDR

• Invite God’s presence into the healing process in a grounded, respectful way

Many clients describe this work as the moment things finally “clicked”—not because they tried harder, but because their system felt safe enough to release what it had been carrying.

What It Could Look Like to Enter 2026 Lighter and More Grounded

Imagine beginning the new year without the same internal weight.

Not because life is perfect—but because your nervous system feels steadier.
Because your reactions make more sense.
Because you’re no longer fighting yourself.

This is often what happens when emotional healing, nervous system regulation, and faith are allowed to work together.

If you’re prayerfully discerning next steps and wondering whether a faith-based trauma therapy intensive in Pennsylvania could be part of your preparation for 2026, I invite you to explore that gently—without pressure.

Next Steps: Exploring a Therapy Intensive in Pennsylvania

If you’re considering a therapy intensive, the first step is a consultation.

We’ll talk through what you’ve tried, what feels stuck, and whether an intensive approach—rooted in clinical care and respectful of your faith—would be supportive for you.

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7 Key Tips - the Basics for Mental Health

Mental Health Basics

God is the designer of our minds and our bodies. God is the one who teaches us the truth through His Word.

Tip #1: Realize that your feelings are not facts. 

Feelings are just information. It is factual that you are having feelings.  You are having certain feelings, and these sensations may be labeled with a certain word that says what the feeling is. This does not mean the feeling is telling you the truth about your value, about the situation, about someone else's intent, or about whether you're in danger. 

Our emotions are not indicators of our worth, of our salvation, or of our spiritual standing. Emotions are signals letting us know how our body and mind are reacting to circumstances. Feelings don't define you. Feelings are simply messengers that God put into the body to alert you. Jesus Himself felt grief, righteous anger, compassion, and sadness. 

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

Tip #2: Realize that your body is not separate from your spirituality.

Jesus had a fully human body and he was fully God and fully human. It was by the shedding of Jesus' physical blood and the physical raising of His body that saved us. Jesus is perfect. 

Knowing that we are safe physically can help us to feel more into the truth that Jesus is our peace. If your body is not able to recalibrate and rest, it's hindering you from the fullness of the experience of being able to rest our bodies, minds, souls, and spirits in Christ. 

Tip #3: Boundaries are Biblical.

God Himself gave Adam and Eve boundaries. 

Genesis 2:16-17 says, "And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.""

God gave people free will with choice and warning. Adam and Eve ate from the fruit in the garden of Eden and that's what caused the problem. As a result, God set up more boundaries. 

Genesis 3:23 says, "therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken."

Jesus set boundaries for Himself while on earth. He was not available to everyone all of the time. Even Jesus went away to pray. 

Healthy boundaries are simply saying that we as humans have limits to our energy, time, resources, and should steward them wisely. 

Tip #4: Prayer is powerful and so is therapy.

Therapy is not a lack of faith, but is an act of stewardship. The Bible tells us that there is value in counsel. Jesus Himself is the mighty counselor. You have to be wise with the person you choose as your therapist, so that they don't lead you into anything that isn't according to Godly parameters. God uses many tools to bring about healing and therapy could be one of them. 

Prayer connects us spiritually and therapy helps us to heal. Therapy can untangle the emotional, mental, and behavioral patterns that might be keeping us stuck. 

Proverbs 15:22 says, "Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed."

God created your brain, body, and emotions. He knows how they work and He is not limited to only what seems like a spiritual intervention. God works through skilled, Godly professionals...and ungodly professionals too. 

Tip #5: Rest is important.

Too many times we criticize ourselves for needing to take a rest. Jesus Himself took rests and God implemented Sabbath. Sometimes we need time to decompress, or recharge so that we can think more creatively, be more effective, and more of service. You are not meant to run on empty. We can honor God through rest. It's okay to take a nap and step away from your endless to-do lists. 

Tip #6: Community matters.

You were not meant to do life alone. Healing happens in connection with people. Although, isolation is not always bad, but thinking that you don't need anyone is not healthy. God made us to encourage one another. Find healthy people who speak truth, encourage you, build you up, and pray for you. 

Tip #7: Grace is for you too.

God's love is for you too. Often we have so many thoughts running through our minds that are critical and you go down the rabbit trail. Grace is for YOU. You are not the exception. Jesus already took all the hits for ALL the sin and He overcame it. The gift is free for the taking. Jesus died for your freedom. 

So stop measuring your worth by your productivity, performance, or feelings...you are loved because God is love and He loves YOU. 

Romans 8:1 says, "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." 

God has a wonderful plan for your life. 

4 Tips to Overcome Triggers and Flashbacks

Overcome Triggers and Flashbacks

Have you ever been on a boat when the water suddenly got choppy? Although nothing has changed about the boat itself, it's still sturdy. The boat is still strong and designed to float. But you start to doubt that you will be safe. Life is a lot like this scenario. Stress, trauma, or conflict can feel like the waves that rock our boat. The rocking can sometimes feel exciting but sometimes it can feel like we might capsize. 

Having the internal ability to steady ourselves is really helpful. 

You don't need validation from others or to people please in order to know you're okay. You simply need compassion and comfort to start the healing steps. God is the ultimate healer and regulates us when we come to Him. But God designed us to learn how to self-regulate.

Tip #1 - Notice and Name What You Feel 

I am feeling anxious. I am feeling scared. Then step back and observe...what do you need? I need to be soothed. I need to know that I am safe. I need to rest. I need to take a walk. I need to care for myself. 

If you aren't able to name your feelings, think about how you would calm a child if they were feeling the  same way that you are. What would you say to the child? It's going to be okay. God is with you. 

This helps your body relax and self-regulate. 

Tip #2 - Prefrontal Cortex 

When you feel like you're in survival mode - fight or flight, you may need to bring more of your logic brain. Identify things that you see and their color. I see an orange pumpkin and yellow sunflowers. This gets you more into logical thoughts. 

Breathe in to the top of your breath, hold it, and right after you hold it, take another gulp of air until you think you can't take in anymore air and hold it for a couple seconds, then release it all slowly and repeat 4 times. 

If something that's supposed to help you is actually too scary to do, it's probably a good time to reach out for some extra assistance. 

Tip #3 - Notice What You're Saying to Yourself

You might hear - "I can't" or "I'll never be safe" or "I'm always going to mess up" and those thoughts are lies that keep you from the present moment. Reframe these lies to be truths. 

"I can do all things through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

When you can catch a negative thought and replace it with truth, you are literally rewiring your brain. 

Tip #4 - When your have Flashbacks or Triggers, and Feel Overwhelmed

Flashbacks are emotional flooding and you feel like you did when that event took place. 

Create immediate safety and ground yourself in the truth. Realize in the present moment that you are safe. Find someone that you trust to sit with. 

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10: 24-25

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalms 34:18

Remember, Christ is our foundation.

10 Tips for Anxiety Management

Anxiety Management

When you feel anxiety, how can you help yourself cope and calm your nervous system?

Whether you're experiencing panic attacks, persistent worry, or a general sense of dread, these moments of anxiety can feel overwhelming and even frightening. Here are 10 calming and empowering strategies to help ground you, regulate your body, and restore a sense of peace and control when anxiety strikes.

1. Identify the feeling you're experiencing.

Are you feeling panic? Is it general anxiety? Fear? Dread? Unease? Overwhelm? Naming the emotion is the first step in managing it. When you label the feeling — “This is anxiety,” or “This is panic” — it creates a sense of distance between you and the emotion. This helps your brain shift from survival mode (fight, flight, or freeze) into a more reflective and grounded state. Naming it brings clarity. It allows you to feel more in control and reminds you: this is just a feeling — it’s not forever, and it’s not going to harm you. You're still safe, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

2. Take in some slow, deep breaths to regulate your nervous system.

Intentional breathing is one of the fastest ways to calm an anxious mind and body. Try the 4-4-8 technique: Breathe in for four counts, hold it for four counts, and exhale slowly for eight counts. Repeat this cycle three or four times. This type of deep breathing helps to slow your heart rate, reduce muscle tension, and lower cortisol — the stress hormone. Practicing this regularly trains your body to stay calm under stress and can eventually become your natural response to anxiety.

3. Ground yourself in the present moment using your five senses.

When anxiety pulls you into the future with “what ifs” or loops from past trauma, grounding brings you back to the now. Try this sensory exercise:

• 5 things you can see: Name and describe five things around you — colors, patterns, shadows, or textures.

• 4 things you can touch: Notice the texture and temperature of objects near you. Speak it aloud if you can: “The mug is warm and smooth,” “The blanket is soft and fuzzy.”

• 3 things you can hear: What do you hear in your environment — a clock ticking, distant traffic, birds chirping?

• 2 things you can smell: Maybe a candle, your clothing, the outdoors, or even a bar of soap.

• 1 thing you can taste: Sip water, chew gum, or taste something sour or sweet. Pay close attention to the flavor and how it feels in your mouth.

This exercise anchors your awareness to your body and surroundings, creating a sense of safety that can reduce the grip of anxiety.

4. Notice the thoughts behind your anxiety.

Anxious thoughts are often distorted or exaggerated. Your mind might be racing with fear-based predictions: “Something bad is going to happen,” or “I can’t handle this.” Pause and observe: What am I thinking right now? Is this fear real or perceived?

Try responding to yourself with gentleness: “I’m having an anxious thought, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.” Remind yourself, “It’s just a feeling. It’s uncomfortable, but I am safe. I will be okay.” This awareness can help you disrupt the cycle of anxious thinking.

5. Move your body to release anxious energy.

Anxiety often creates a buildup of stress energy that needs a physical outlet. Movement can help release tension, regulate body temperature, and engage the parasympathetic nervous system (your rest-and-digest system).

Take a brisk walk, stretch, dance to your favorite song, or go outside for fresh air. Even simple movements like pacing or standing up and swaying can signal to your brain that you are not stuck. Movement helps anxiety flow through rather than getting stuck inside.

6. Be mindful of what you’re putting into your body.

Certain substances can aggravate anxiety symptoms. Caffeine can overstimulate your nervous system, leading to jitteriness, racing thoughts, or a pounding heart. Sugar can cause spikes and crashes in blood sugar that mimic anxiety. Alcohol can initially sedate but later increase feelings of unease.

If you’re already prone to anxiety, try cutting back on or eliminating stimulants. Opt for calming, nourishing foods and drinks: herbal teas like chamomile or peppermint, complex carbs, or warm, grounding meals.

7. Create a toolkit of go-to calming tools.

Having sensory-based items or routines you can turn to when you feel anxious helps you feel prepared. These can include:

• Essential oils (like lavender, eucalyptus, or frankincense)

• Favorite worship or calming music

• A comforting scent like soap or lotion

• Fidget tools, worry stones, or a warm compress

• Scripture cards or affirmations

These tools engage your senses and redirect your brain toward something familiar and comforting. Keep your anxiety kit accessible — in your car, purse, or nightstand.

8. Set aside time specifically to identify and process or pray about your fears and worries.

Set aside intentional time to connect with God. Write out your prayers or speak them aloud:
“I’m scared about [name what it is]. I would like peace.”
Notice moments of comfort, calm, or reassurance.

9. Don’t resist the panic — observe and allow.

Fighting against a panic attack or anxious moment can make it worse. Instead, try to ride it out like a wave. Name what’s happening: “This is panic, it’s going to pass.” Try to stay curious about it rather than afraid of it.

Acting as if you’re not afraid — sitting still, slowing your breathing, or smiling — can send calming signals back to your brain. The key is to tolerate the discomfort without fearing it. Over time, your brain learns: “This feeling is unpleasant, but it’s not dangerous.”

10. Reach out for support.

Anxiety thrives in isolation. One of the most healing things you can do is let someone in. Tell a trusted friend, pastor, family member, or therapist what you’re feeling. You don’t need to have it all figured out — you just need someone to witness your struggle.

Healing is possible — and you are not beyond hope.

Trauma - How to Think to Get Unstuck

Trauma Recovery

Today we're talking about the trauma recovery journey. The trauma recovery journey and how you can actually think more positively even when your thinker is not very clear. So, remember that trauma is a wound. Trauma is a painful past learning experience. It means that something happened that was not optimal, and it impacted you beyond your ability to have the resources that you needed to take care of it. When we are recovering from that, we miss out on knowing that we survived because our system gets so focused on making sure that never happens again.

Are Your Coping Skills Working?

That scary thing that felt like we wouldn't survive, that it puts up amazing scanners under the scenes that say that will never happen again. And then we come up with all kinds of coping skills, whether helpful or not helpful, to prevent the very thing that hurt us. And then those coping skills end up hurting us, so they don't work. They worked for a time, or they worked for a developmental stage or when we were kids, we thought they worked, but then as adults we run into things where they don't work and then we're kind of left wondering what in the world to do next?

You Already Survived!

Today, I'm going to help teach you how to think as you are recovering from trauma. Maybe you've been in therapy for a while and you're like, but when I hit this pain point again, I thought I had already worked through it. I thought it had already healed. I don't understand why I'm spinning my wheels again. And I want to tell you, you're not. And when you think, why am I not able to get past this? I still have to keep working and trying to get past this, I want to tell you that you are. So, you are getting past it. You are doing the work. Just because something is familiar and because it may be the way it feels, it does not mean that you're not progressing. It does not mean you haven't survived. It does not mean that hope isn't right there with you or that healing isn't completely on the horizon.

Now, I can't promise complete healing in everybody's circumstances all the time. But when you really do the work, you will then have the tools to be able to keep on the path towards healing and it will get smoother as you go. You don't need to still survive. You don't need to try harder to survive. You already have survived. Now you need to basically pick yourself up when you wobble. It's not that you're still surviving, it's that your system doesn't know it already did.

It's Like Riding a Bike

I want to give you the analogy of a bike ride, okay? If you're on a two-wheeler, you're a kid, you've learned how to ride a two-wheeler and you've crashed, and your bike is toast. I mean, you're banged up, your knees are skinned, your bike got all bent, your tires flat, everything's a mess. You don't want that to ever happen again. So, the next time you get on your bike, your new bike, you start to wobble a little bit because you remember, uh-oh, I fell last time, yet you keep going. You may have to stop and go to one side and kind of catch your balance with one leg down while you hold the bike against you. Then maybe you get back up and you try again and keep going. But every pedal, every time you push the pedal around, you are further on in the process of getting back on the bike and getting away from the experience of the accident. You survived your bike accident, and now you're on your way to a wonderful ride.

If you keep thinking, “I have to survive an accident, I have to survive an accident,” you take away the power of the ride that you're already on on your bike.

Now, does that mean you'll never wobble?

No, of course not.

Does that mean you'll never skin your knee again? Of course not. Does it mean though, that you're going to completely crash and lose your bike and never be okay again and break all kinds of bones? It doesn't mean that either. What happened to you in that first bike crash is over. If you have a new bike and you're pedaling, you survived it.

Now it's a matter of maybe carrying some extra tools with you. Maybe you want to wear your helmet when you ride your bike. Maybe you want to have some knee pads. If you wore ten knee pads on each leg, that would be overkill and that would cause more of a problem than it would help you. See, your coping skills can be out of proportion to what you need them to be.

So, in what ways are you trying to protect yourself that are actually getting in the way now? There's nothing wrong with maybe carrying with you some quarters to put in an air machine at a gas station so that you can pump up your tire if it gets a little low and that's what's causing the wobble. Or maybe to put a little basket on the bike that has a bottled water in there because you might get thirsty and that might help keep you hydrated while you pedal. When you have things that are helpful, you just pull out the tool that you need. Maybe carry a Band-Aid in your pocket in case you need to slap one on. If you do fall and skin your knee, it's not buying a whole new bike again and recovering from that huge crash you had. You've already done that. You're already on your new journey. You may need to have some tools in your toolkit that will help you to optimize when you wobble and fall. But it doesn't mean it's a catastrophe. Taking you back to that catastrophe that you had had that big wound trauma that put you on your guard and wanted to make you put every elbow, knee pad, helmets to the extreme on you. No. Just use caution. Be wise, look out for potholes, keep pedaling, enjoy the new journey. 

You're already on it.

Traumatic Memory Vs. Chronological Time

I wanted to encourage you with that because that's the difference between traumatic memory and actual chronological time you are present, you were hurt, you might still feel like you have a black and blue mark or a few of them, and you don't want them to get bumped. Again. Totally understandable. But if and when they get bumped, you can tend to them with compassion and care, or find others now who can tend to them with compassion and care. And you can process and heal because you survived that initial catastrophe. And the way I know that is because you're here now. You would not be if you were in immediate survival danger.

If you were really in fight or flight danger right now, a survival mode, you wouldn't be reading and thinking about how this applies to you. So, you have survived 100% of the things that you've been through. If you're still bruised, it's because you were wounded. And if you're still feeling those spots are tender, then tend to them. Comfort them, get them the support they need, the healing, the processing. But please don't mistake that you are no longer on the journey of the trauma. You are on the journey of recovery from that trauma. When you can acclimate to present time and space, it helps you to realize that you are no longer powerless, that you have power.

3 Ways to Quickly Calm Anxious Feelings - Get Out of Fight or Flight

Fight or Flight

Fight or Flight and False Alarms

The phrase, “Fight or Flight” is used to describe the portion of our nervous system that makes changes in our bodies whenever we are under a survival threat. For instance, if a saber toothed tiger were about to pounce on you to make you his supper, your blood would automatically move to your arms and legs so that you could fight back (fight) or run away (take flight), but when that happens, your heart must also change it’s pace and beat faster, this changes your sense of alertness, etc…, etc… . In fact, it is said that there are approximately 1500 different changes that take place in a human body for the purposes of survival in this way.

Fight or Flight is very useful when there is an actual threat of death or severe injury, but what if you are simply taking a nap and find yourself waking with a jolt because your heart is racing and there is noone nearby but your trusted companion, Fido. Your nervous system just hijacked your peace and sent you into fight or flight in error.

I often describe it to my clients as a smoke detector that runs on batteries. If there is a real fire and the alarm goes off, then you want to take some sort of action to get to safety. However, if the alarm goes off and there is no actual fire present, it causes a whole lot of hub-bub for no beneficial reason. Perhaps, the batteries are going bad, or someone was boiling water and steam got too close to the alarm location. It’s not that the alarm is doing a bad job of doing what it is designed to do, but it’s doing it when there isn’t a real threat.

This is what happens during panic and anxiety attacks; the body is doing it’s job to alert you to get to safety, but if you are not in danger, it is a false alarm. So, what can you do when you experience a false alarm?

Here are 3 Ways to Tame Anxiety

1) Focus on Your Present Physical Environment

When we are in a false alarm of anxiety or panic from fight or flight hijacking, one of the fastest ways to notice that it is false is to intentionally notice if there is an actual threat or merely a felt sense of threat. A real threat won’t give you time to do this, as you will need to do the thing you need to do to survive. However, a false alarm is easily able to be assessed because you can feel that your body is simply sitting in a chair in your living room, for example, or you are snuggled in your favorite blanket while lying on your couch with your dog looking at you with curiosity.

Look around you, and ask yourself, “Is there actual physical danger here?” Go ahead; check each direction, I’ll wait. :)

If the answer is, “no actual danger here,” then, it’s time to focus on naming out loud things you see and feel and to describe them in vivid detail: “I see a blue mug with red flowers on it, and it has tan coffee inside that is cold to the touch.”

This description allows you to use the more logical part of your brain (i.e. not the part that sends the frantic alarms out), and helps you to “ground” yourself in the safety of the present moment.

2) Focus on Slowing Down Your Breath, Thoughts, and Internal Self-Talk

The next thing to do is to slow down your movements. Notice if you are clenching your fists or jaw, swallowing hard, or racing from here to there in your thoughts. S- - - L- - - O- - - W It D- - - O- - - W- - - N. Take a slow, deep, breath in, and slowly let it out for double as long on the exhale. Repeat the slow breathing no matter how much you feel like you need to pant. Slow down your thoughts…take them one by one and merely observe them rather than grabbing onto them as if they are telling you the truth. Next, tell yourself the truth: “I am feeling unsafe, but there is no danger here. I can breathe just fine, I’ll just slow it down, and I’ll be okay. Keep speaking truth to yourself.

3) Focus on Comforting Your Body and Emotions

Finally, as you treat yourself with kindness and gentleness, have compassion with your body and emotions, too. You might tell yourself, “I know that was scary, but it’s okay to just softly curl up here with this blanket and breathe in a peaceful rhythm.” Or, “Let’s relax, body, it’s okay to gently sway or rock back and forth and give ourselves a hug feeling by placing one hand on our heart and one on our forehead or stomach and breathing slowly.

Ultimately…

When your nervous system "can be convinced” that it was in error, the panic and anxiety of fight and flight alarms can subside.